1. In response to your confusion about error #1, there was a fragment in between both of the paragraphs I included in my sample of the article. "Open primaries" does not make sense or stand on its own as a sentence, and yet it is placed on the page as if it is supposed to be an entire paragraph or something. The words don't make sense there! (It was really weird).
Two Feature Leads
TULSA, Oklah. – Firefighters were alarmed yesterday when 95-year-old woman’s “torch” of a birthday cake set off fire alarm.
Everything kicked off when all 95 candles on Mabel McCollough's cake were lit.
Eddi Carlin, one of the guests at the event, remarked, “There wasn’t an inch to spare [on the cake]. By the time we had them all lit, it looked like a torch.”
It was no surprise when a huge cloud of smoke was left hanging in the room after McCollough blew them out! No one, however, expected that it would attract 24 firefighters to the scene in search of a fire to put out! Apparently the smoke from the blown out candles had set off a smoke alarm, which attracted them to the scene.
"In my 23 years on the job, I've seen a lot of things set off a fire alarm, but I don't think I've ever heard of one going off because of a birthday cake," said Fire Chief Lonnie Lamb.
The firefighters didn't stick around for birthday cake, but did take pictures with the birthday girl.
News Story #4: The Carjacker
A newlywed couple was carjacked Saturday night in San Mateo when they stopped for a snack at the Taco Bell on East Fourth Ave. on the way to their honeymoon suite.
According to Sheryl Wolcott, a San Mateo County deputy district attorney, the groom had left his wife in the passenger seat of their 2003 Nissan Ultima. He had barely made it to the entrance of the restaurant when a man high on methamphetamines bolted across the parking lot and leaped into their idling vehicle.
According to the police the groom managed to pull his screaming wife from their car just before their confused assailant, 21-year-old Alan Ticas-Soto, crashed it into a Taco Bell sign. Ticas-Soto then took off running and was later found going southbound on South Delaware Street where he was arrested without incident.
He is currently being held in San Mateo County Prison and is faced with carjacking and misdemeanor drug charges. “If he is found guilty, [he] could face up to nine years in state prison for the carjacking,” says Wolcott.
According to Sheryl Wolcott, a San Mateo County deputy district attorney, the groom had left his wife in the passenger seat of their 2003 Nissan Ultima. He had barely made it to the entrance of the restaurant when a man high on methamphetamines bolted across the parking lot and leaped into their idling vehicle.
According to the police the groom managed to pull his screaming wife from their car just before their confused assailant, 21-year-old Alan Ticas-Soto, crashed it into a Taco Bell sign. Ticas-Soto then took off running and was later found going southbound on South Delaware Street where he was arrested without incident.
He is currently being held in San Mateo County Prison and is faced with carjacking and misdemeanor drug charges. “If he is found guilty, [he] could face up to nine years in state prison for the carjacking,” says Wolcott.
Copy Edit: +2 points (thanks for explaining)
ReplyDeleteFeature: 11+1.5=12.5/15
Carjacker: 18+1=19/20