Lead #2 : Forecasters say that another snow storm is expected to hit the Sierras today as a part of a larger series of storms that will be passing through the area in the days to come.
Lead #3 : Three firefighters were injured in their attempt to squelch a fire that erupted in a six-story building at 204 Union Ave today. All of the 41 families who inhabited the building were successfully evacuated, police said.
1) Consider what's more newsworthy: a car accident that happened months ago or winning $150,000 in damages. It's the money, right! So put that before the part about their accident.
ReplyDelete2) OK
3) You've got the right info in the right order ... it's just a little too wordy, too formal. Tighten it up, make a little more conversational.
Ex: Three firefighters were injured fighting a fire .... All 41 families living in the building were....
13.5/15